Mental Illness is Real!

My thoughts this day are with a family I never met. However, I did know their mother. 

The summer of 1980, I had the opportunity to go on a wilderness trip in Yellowstone. The group I was with was made up of about 30 college aged students from Rick's College in Rexburg, ID. During this trip, we were to backpack, canoe, horseback ride, and even climb a mountain. Most of the kids didn't know anyone else in the group, but we all became quite close during the several weeks we were together.

The big company split into smaller groups. Our group consisted of the only Southern people in company. Four of us were from Florida, and one from Georgia. Three of the Floridians were actually from the same area...two of us were close friends that went to the same high school, but I only had met these two girls just days earlier.

As the tents and supplies were handed out, most of the groups were issued tents that slept up to five called McKinley Tents. There were two of us left over, and so we were issued a small two man tent. Stacey and I were to share that tent for the next five weeks.

So, let me tell you about Stacey. I had only just met her, but I already felt a closeness to her. She was bubbly, vibrant, happy, and a little bit sassy...but in a good way. She was one of those people who everyone was drawn to, everyone wanted to be Stacey's friend. 

I turned 20 on that trip, one of the oldest in the group, and now that I am in my 60's, I still talk about that trip. There was a lot of personal growth during those short few weeks, and I am grateful for the time I was able to spend with everyone. Out of the 30, I have only been able to keep up with three, and even those three, I just "see" them on Facebook. But still, everyone in that group has a special place in my heart.

Especially Stacey. Since that trip, Stacey and I never have really communicated, but I still look up to her. I know that the giant personality she had as a college student has been put to the good for others. She was the type of person who would do anything, and give everything to help them out.

Sad things is, she had her own struggles. You would never know it though, and I, like so many others, had no clue until... Well...

You see, Stacey was suffering from mental illness. She had severe depression, and she lost her battle with it this past week. She always seemed so happy. But deep inside she was not...and that is so sad. Sad to think that no one could reach out to her. Not to say they didn't try, because they did. 

Mental illness is so misunderstood. When someone has cancer, we feel for them, it seems easier to reach out. Mental illness, though is much different. For one thing, like in Stacey's case, it is hidden, and so many of us go our merry way and the illness gets ignored. 

You never know how much someone is hurting. This is why it is so important to reach out to EVERYONE. Let other's know you truly care. You do not have to go around saying, "I love you" all the time. Most of the time it is by our actions. Even something just as little as noticing them, looking into their eyes and giving them a genuine smile.

The Good Ole Days...Growing up in the 1970"s

Once upon a time in a not so far away neighborhood lived a group of people who genuinely cared for one another. 

Lined ever so neatly, were perfectly manicured modest homes; and in each home lived a mommy, daddy, and children. Some households had pets too...maybe a dog or a cat, or even fish or a hamster or two.

Each morning, dad would get up, read the morning paper over a cup of coffee, and then head out to work. Mom would get the kids up, and get them off to school. Some would make sure they got to the bus stop on time, other mothers would take their kids to school.

After the morning rush, mom would clean up the breakfast mess, maybe do a load of laundry or two...or three. Laundry was more than likely done on Monday's...after the weekend full of family fun, or possibly some heavy work around that house that needed to be done. 

The teenage son, or teenage boy down the street usually mowed the lawn. Cars needed to be washed, have a change of oil, or some other mechanically fix. Dad usually did all of that instead of taking it to a mechanic. It was a lot more affordable than to take it in. 

There were actually certain days for certain chores. One day mom would change all the bedding for clean ones. The old dirty sheets would be washed, dried, folded and put away. One day would be the shopping day. It was not unusual for mom to clip coupons, make menus for the week, make her grocery list from the sale paper and menus she put together before going to the various stores to shop the individual sales. 

One day a month, she would do her budgeting. Families kept on a strict budget. This allowed mom to be able to stay at home and tend to the needs of the family. 

Each day of the week had a different thing that needed to be done. Mom was very organized, and ready for the time the children are due home after school. Mom usually had some sort of a snack waiting for the children's arrival. Once everyone was settled at home, it was time to hit the books and get the homework done. Mom was always a big help when it came to any questions that might come up. 

After the homework was done, it was time for the kids to head outside to play with their friends before dad came home and it was dinner time. 

The neighborhood was a very busy place...children skating down the sidewalks, other's riding their bikes around the block. Many games, like hide and go seek, kick the can, volleyball (if you were lucky enough to have or know someone that had a volleyball net set up in their yard).  Other games and activities were jump rope, chase, or maybe some girls practicing their cheerleading skills.
Even in the rain, you would see kids outside, usually in the street skimming on a makeshift skim board. 

During this fun time, Mom was in the kitchen whipping up some yummies for dinner. As soon as dad got home, it was time to sit down together, as a family, and enjoy the beautiful meal mom lovingly cooked for them. Conversations of the day took over as they filled their tummies with good, homemade nutrition.

As soon as everyone was finished, the clean up began. If the children were old enough, they took turns cleaning the dinner mess. If not, mom cleaned the kitchen while dad retired to the living room to watch the news. Walter Conkrite was the man to watch as he delivered the latest information of the day. 

With the kitchen cleaned up, there was still an hour or two before the sun went down, so the kids headed back out to be with their friends. 

Sometimes you might see a circle of mothers gathered on a neighbors lawn discussing events and making plans. You see, many of these women helped one another. If one of them was in the middle of baking cookies, and forgot to put sugar on the grocery list, which means she ran out....she could call her friend next door to see if she could borrow some. Many times the way it was payed back was by returning the favor.  Probably not with a cup of sugar but for a couple of eggs. 

Many of these women car pooled together to get their kids to and from school. Sometimes they just needed someone to talk to. Picking up the phone and calling one another was no biggy. They helped and comforted each other.

Whenever the phone rang, or someone came to the door, it was not unusual for the children to run to answer. Usually all of them yelling, " I GOT IT, I GOT IT, I GOT IT!!!!!!" 

OK....now let us fast forward 40 years....or even 30 years.

When most of us read the above, we think of that as a fictitious place. Something made up. Well, it is not. I just described the neighborhood I grew up in (1970's). My dad was a NASA engineer and made pretty good money. Most of the people in our neighborhood had the same type jobs. There were no huge homes. The house we lived in was about 1100 sq feet. Basic three bedrooms, two bath, living room, eat in kitchen, and one car garage. 

Children were expected to do chores...mow lawns and house hold chores like dishes, vacuum, dust, clean the bathrooms and their own rooms...and whatever else needed to be done. Most children even shared a bedroom with a sibling.

Today, technology rules our lives. Now don't get me wrong. Technology can be a wonderful thing, but we have allowed it to come into our lives and take over!

How many of you know your neighbor? How many of you feel comfortable to go next door, or call someone to see how they are doing? Or even feel comfortable answering your phone or door?

Many of us HATE talking on the phone. Many of us just HATE talking to people at all. This is pretty sad. 

Depression has become ramped. People need people. Yes, we need each other. Sure through social media, it seems that we are more connected, but are we really? Yes, we can communicate with other's through text, facebook, and other technology. But is there a difference between that and actually sitting down, face to face, over lunch and actually looking at each other and talking? 

Through text, messaging, etc much of the real communication is lost. When we are face to face, we can see through fluctuation of the voice and body language what is really meant in the conversation. So much is lost when not face to face. 

Life is so different today. Yes, some things are easier, but honestly,  overall, life was much simpler back then. I am sad that my grandchildren will never get to experience what it was like when I was a kid. I sure miss those "Good Ole Days..."

I FINALLY Got my Ears Pierced!

 

For as long as I can remember, I always wanted my ears pierced. My dad, however, didn't think it was such a great idea. He said not until I'm 18, when I can make my own decisions. He would also say...."If God wanted holes in your ears, He would have put them there!" *sigh*

I remember BEGGING, to get my ears pierced, and my mom, ever so patiently, would tell me to just be patient. FINALLY, the time came, and my mom was able to talk my dad into letting me get my ears pierced for my 13th birthday. He reluctantly said it was ok, but only if a doctor did it.

So...on my 13th birthday, mom took me to see our family doctor and he pierced my ears. I was so happy. I loved the little gold balls that adorned my ears. Anyone who got theirs pierced in the 70's remembers the gold balls. Mine were a bit different though, because they had a brushed look to them. I liked that mine were a little different. 

Each day, I would care for my ears. Six weeks of alcohol, on a cotton ball was applied three times a day, twisting and turning the earrings so the alcohol would get into the holes. This was so they would heal with no infection. 

Each time we would go to the store, I had to look at the earrings. I was saving up for some new ones. They were all so cute, it was going to be hard to choose. Finally, a week before I could take my gold balls out, Mom took me to TG&Y, and I bought my first pair of pierced earrings. Now, one of the stipulations was that I could NOT wear any dangles until I was older. According to my dad, dangles were very inappropriate for a little girl. I was ok with that, at least for awhile.

As the year went on, I saved my allowance money and bought a pair of earrings about every week or so. I had quite the collection; elephants, different colored rhinestones (dark green, light green, clear, pink, etc), crowns, and one of my favorite--silver tone treble clefs! 

About six months after I got my ears pierced, I noticed a pair of tiny little dangles. They were posts, with just a slight little cameo dangle. I loved them. I hesitantly ask my mom if I could get them. To my surprise she told me I could! I wore those earrings A LOT!!!!

Tell me, when did you get your ears pierced and what were your first earrings like?