Early July Morning, Cocoa Beach, Florida

Monday, December 17, 2018

This Will Probably Never Get Read....

Have you ever felt sorry for yourself? I bet you have...we all do at one time or another. 

I don't like it when I get those feelings, or feelings of inadequacy. It seems to happen a lot. I can remember, as a little girl, being bullied. It wasn't anything major, but it was bullying. I bet most of us have experienced bullying before. 

Feeling sorry for yourself, feeling inadequate and bullying others is all part of Satan's plan. He wants us to have these feelings; feelings of we are not good enough. 

So...what do we do about it? 

First off, we should NEVER bully anyone. Most of us think of bullying as someone saying terrible things about you or even beating on you, but bullying is much more than that. 

The bullying I got were things like making fun of my pale skin, or my shy nature. Teachers were really bad about this. They never made fun of my skin, but they would yell at me because I wouldn't ask questions, or want to come up to the board to work a math problem; and, yes....I would cry. They hated when I cried, and instead of trying to figure out why, they would feed into it by giving me a hard time about it. I hate it when I cry...and now, I don't. Well, not much anyway.

Some of the bullying I got was that not many people wanted to be my friend. Don't get me wrong, I had a few close friends that are still in my circle of people, but most of the kids really didn't want to have anything to do with me, because I was different. 

Experiences one has in their early life can lead to the way they behave...even being shy. I won't go into any details, but I had such an experience. I was about five, and it was something that should never happen to anyone, let alone an innocent child. 

I have tried to forget that experience, but I can't. Very few people know about it. I have forgiven the person who did it to me, and I try to see what I can learn from that experience to better other people's lives...but sadly, many times I fail.

I also have a very hard time asking for help. When I do, I feel awkward, and many times, the help I've asked for gets looked at as not important and bothersome....or so I think. 

One thing I have been working on is to remember other's...even if they are not so nice to me. We all judge, and before I judge too harshly, I try to remember maybe I don't understand what is going on in their lives. Maybe I would choose the same if I were in their shoes. 

One thing I suffer from is invisibleness. Sometimes it is a good thing, but most of the time it is not. It is very frustrating when you have worked hard on a project, and it goes unnoticed. I feel as if...why even bother?

Okay, so no more pitty party here. Let me get to the point. The point is, all of us have bad days, or bad things that happen. How we deal with them is part of the test. Do we just sit around and feel sorry for ourselves? That would be too easy. What we should do, is get up, brush ourselves off and move on. Try to look at those bad moments as a way to learn. What can we learn to help others?

Helping others is one way to forget our own troubles. There is always someone else who is going through something harder than what we are experiencing. 

Last month, there was a whole town that was burned to the ground in California. Almost 30,000 people lost everything. Some of these people I know; and a lot of these people are at a much better place than many of us that have minor issues going on in our lives. 

There is not much I can do for them, as they are 2,097 miles away. How do I know this?....well.....this summer I made a sign for our backyard. On it were all the places our family has lived, including our children's spouses...and one of them was born and raised in Paradise. 



But...back to what I can do to help. They have been in my thoughts and prayers ever since. Sometimes, when people go through hard times, that is all we can do. A listening ear or a hug, or just being their and letting them know, is maybe all we can do. 

Many times, the hardships we go through in life, are things that we put upon ourselves; the choices we make. But, many times, they are things that just happen. Yes, bad things happen to good people, but, like I've mentioned, what we do about them is the true test. 

Growing up, my parents went through some hard times. They were born during the depression, and their families were destitute. At one time my dad was living in a tent....my mom lived in a chicken coop in someone's backyard that was turned into a shelter. The stories my parents share with me are unbelievable. Did they sit around and feel sorry for themselves? NO! The fact is, until recently, I never knew about these stories. They did not dwell on the hardships they went through. Instead, they took those experiences and learned from them. Instead of continuing to be in poverty, they educated themselves. They saved their money. My dad was able to work at his dream job as a aeronautical engineer and working on the Apollo program, helping to put the first man on the moon. 

My parents gave us a good home. Sure, many times we couldn't understand why they did the thing they did and said the things they said, but now that I know the whole story, I understand more. Not saying I totally understand, because, since I didn't live through what they did, it is impossible for me to fully understand. 

So...next time you start feeling sorry for yourself, thing of others. Think of all those who are going through far more difficult times that you are. What can you do to help. If it is only to remember them in your prayers, than that is ok.....


“Up to a point a person’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and changes in the world about them. Then there comes a time when it lies within their grasp to shape the clay of their life into the sort of thing they wish it to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune or the quirks of fate. Everyone has the power to say, ‘This I am today. That I shall be tomorrow.’”
-Louis L'Amour

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